Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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