were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
