no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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