I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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