question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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