And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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