I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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