I wish I only lived at night.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
