Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
