Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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