week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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