Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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