So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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