Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
