i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
