she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
