I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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