i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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