the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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