Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
