So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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