Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
