There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
