like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
