So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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