You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
