what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
