this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
