STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
as a side note pls kill me
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
