i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
