CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
