its not stalking. its research.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
