fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she told me i tasted like america
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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