I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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