I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
