"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
What a dumb baby whore.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
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