I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sacagawea was the original milf.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
