I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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