community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my sisters under your porch take her home
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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