As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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