i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
