You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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