well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
