it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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