dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
