Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, beer. Big fan.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
