she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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