i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You dont lie about slip and slides
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
