she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
