Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Come see our sink grown plant.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
