he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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