His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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