dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
