I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
