Your face is a jimmy john
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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