Too much gin, very little bucket
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
