Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
