I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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