btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
