Plan B is the new Plan A
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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