Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we're making bets on your personal life
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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