Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
pray to the hookup gods
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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