I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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