I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
